I was going to write a long post about my counterspell work this morning –but I didn’t/couldn’t. I have been trying to figure out how to include others in this project but it’s going to take a little time for me to get my ducks in a row. Gatherings? Mailings? Art installation? I just don’t know. I get tripped up by that other people part of the planning. Ha! For now I am just conjuring and making art out here in my Ghost House and talking to my dogs and my nutty black cat. That might have to be enough for a while. If you want to join me in this counterspell work, let me know. We will figure something out. Until then I am binding together found objects and good thoughts and hoping something interesting comes from this work. It’s chapter 2 of my “After the Apocalypse Work”. Who knew there would be a chapter 2? I guess I should have known. I think I did, deep down.

While showering this morning, I started thinking about writing an essay about women in post apocalyptic films and literature and sharing some of my favorite characters –but I couldn’t sit still and write anything. I want to write about why these characters are the reason I like post apocalyptic stories. I will write it, eventually, maybe. I am aware that my last few essays have been long and a bit rambly. I’ll try to do better. With everything going on in the world right now, my thoughts on women in post-apocalyptic films and literature seems kind of unimportant–relevant maybe in the context of fictional role models –but not so interesting in the artsy analysis kind of way. I’m trying to recalibrate and figure out what I am trying to tell you with these stories and how to best tell them through my studio work –but it’s not really working–yet. It’s like I’ve been standing in hurricane force winds and trying to fold origami cranes lately.

So, instead of writing another post-apocalyptic or zombie essay or scrolling on Instagram this morning, I cooked a big breakfast for myself, packed my work tote with my sketchbooks and snacks, grabbed the big dog and walked to the studio to work instead. I am working on a large paper sculpture right now that I am kind of excited about but that I have neglected over the past couple of weeks– for reasons I am sure you understand. I am diving back into it today. I am also playing music to help drown out the stupid noise. Today I am playing my favorite dark ballads by women singer/songwriters playlist. I should share some of those down the road too, eventually.

I am not sure who is reading anything I am writing here. I expect no one. I am going to keep writing though. These are crazy, weird times and I haven’t fully recovered from the last chapter of crazy weird in my life so I am just going to keep reading and writing and watching films and walking and eating and breathing and talking to my dogs and making delightfully gloomy singer songwriter playlists and spooky sculptures. It’s working for me. I have given up on sanity. I’ve gone completely ’round the bend–but it’s not all bad here. Embracing MY crazy and crankiness is helping put some pep back in my step and making things in the studio a little more interesting.this feels a little like fighting fire with fire. Fighting crazy with crazy? Does that count as a counterspell? I dunno. I am going to run with it like it does. If I am laughing maniacally and running around talking to myself and making art, maybe I can keep despair and bogeymen at bay.